Lost Without You
by glimmergirlhg1
Summary: How did Annie handle loosing Finnick? How did she get over it, or did she? (Cheesy I know)
1. Chapter 1

"I'm so sorry Annie..." The soldier said. He took off his hat, held it close to his chest and bowed his head. He closed his eyes and was silent for a moment, for Finnick.

Annie was confused. Why hadn't Finnick come back in the hovercraft? He promised her he would.

"He wanted me to give you this, just in case he... you know." The soldier wasn't the most sensitive or caring person, but he didn't want to say "if he didn't make it back". He knew Annie could barely handle every day life. For her, this would be so much harder than for someone else. This would be a long road. He took the letter out of his pocket, handing it to her. She held it, studying it closely. She still didn't completely get it. She looked at his hand writing on the outside of the letter. _"Annie" _it said in graceful letters.

Annie knew it was Finnick's handwriting. She slowly opened it. Maybe it would explain why he wasn't here. Maybe he was on a trip. Maybe Coin sent him somewhere else where he was needed.

_Dear Annie,_

_If you get this letter, it means I haven't come home. I know it might be confusing for you, but I can't come back. This world is just like a Rubik's cube. It's so confusing, but colorful. And everyone is amazed when you figure it out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I had to go. But I'll be safe. And one day you see me again, I promise, I'll wait forever if I have to. And then we'll always be together. I heard of this place called Heaven when I was younger, before the games. A family friend told me about it. It's a perfect world. There is no pain, no suffering, just peace and love. And I'm sure I'll be going there. And one day, when you are ready, you will come join me. But until then, just know I'll always be with you in your heart. I'll always be there for you. I just can't physically be here with you. I love you so much Annie. You are my world, my stars, the air I breathe. Don't forget it. Stay strong for me. Be brave and live on for me. Thank you for always standing by me._

_Love, Finnick_

The letter was full of dried tear drops. They were soon joined by fresh one. Annie understood. Finnick was dead, gone for good. He would no longer be sitting at the table at the crack of dawn tying knots. He would no longer embrace Annie and shield her from the nightmares. He would no long smile and wink at her before diving into the deep green colored ocean. Annie would no longer see those caring green eyes.

It was that moment when all the live drained from her eyes and her heart shattered into a million pieces. She was sucked into a deep dark place called depression, or as the doctors called it "madness", that she knew all too well. She was lost. Her love was gone, and there was nothing she, or anyone could do.

A nurse took Annie's wrist lightly, carful not to frighten her. But Annie wasn't like that. She didn't scream when touched like the other patients. She went completely silent. She wouldn't make a sound no matter what. Annie would just stare with a blank look on her face.

"Come on Annie, let's get you to your room." the nurse said in a sweet, soft voice. She began leading Annie down the hall, back to the hospital. The nurse walked slowly next to Annie as if she were a baby learning how to walk. But Annie knew she was stronger than that. The only one who saw it and knew it was Finnick.

_"See Annie! I knew you could do it!" _Finnick would say when Annie did something that was hard for her. Like in the beginning of her depression, after the games, when she finally left her house and went for a walk around the block. It was hard for her, but Finnick was there. So she knew she could do it. But now that he was gone, it seemed like life could no longer carry on.

The nurse brought Annie into her room. It has plush, white wall, meant to "protect" Annie if she has a mental break down. The doctors would have put her in a regular room, but now that Finnick wasn't here to calm her, they felt like it would be safer for her in the room. The nurse brought Annie to the small bed in the corner. She had Annie sit on it. Annie sat at the edge of the bed, her hands in her lap. She stared straight ahead at the door as if Finnick will walk through at any moment.

"Here Annie. You can put this on." The nurse said, putting a pale green hospital gown next to Annie, "I'll let you get changed. I'm just out the door if you need me." The nurse said. She smiled at Annie, but Annie only blinked. The nurse's smile vanished. She felt bad for Annie. She understood her pain. She slowly left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She locked the door and went down the hall to check on another patient.

Annie just sat there for a minute. A tear slowly rolled down her check, landing on her hand. Beside her tear, there was no emotion on her face. She forced herself to put on the gown. She know Finnick would have wanted her to try, but even that simple act was hard. The gown was on of the fabric ones that the hospital of 13 rarely used. Usually they used a paper like material.

She crawled under the covers of the bed, which like the rest of the room was white. She hid her head under the pillow. No one could have seen her under there, almost as if she wasn't there. That's what Annie wanted. She didn't want to exist.

_"I'll always be in your heart." _Finnick seems to whisper in her ear.


	2. Chapter 2

Annie danced around in circles with the other girls. All of them were laughing and gracefully dancing around. Annie's arms spread out like a bird's wings. Her pale pink skirt swirled around. She smiled radiantly, partly because of true happiness, partly because she was told to. Some of her curly brown hair covered her face, but she managed to keep enough of it off to look at a boy in the crowd.

Finnick stood in the crowd, waiting patiently for Annie's dance to be done. His bronze hair met at his eye lashes, he constantly flipped his head to move it out of the way. He was also staring at her, a huge smile on his face. She looked so beautiful.

The music finally stopped. Annie hopped off the stage and ran to him. Finnick found himself doing the same, his feet moved as if it were instinct. They collided together. He wrapped his arms around her. He spun her around one, stopping and kissed her on the lips. They laughed together, rocking a bit side to side from becoming off balanced.

"It was beautiful." Finnick whispered in Annie's ear.

Annie woke up then. It was all a dream. Finnick wasn't actually there. Annie had to keep on reminding herself that. How many days had it been? Five, six maybe? She was struggling to get through the days, but she was determined to get out of the hospital. She knew Finnick would want her to try.

_"Stay strong." _he would have said.

She closed her eyes again, trying to see if sleep would come back. But it wasn't. All Annie could think about was that dream. She remembered it as if it had just happened. It was two years after Finnick won the games, a little bit before her games. It was at the celebration of fishing season. During certain times of the year, the fish are plentiful and district 4 makes a lot more money than usual. Everyone would get so excited. That was when the world seemed perfect. She didn't have memories constantly creeping up on her. She had Finnick. Her heart ached for those days. She held onto every shred of those times.

She covered her ears, closing her eyes even tighter. She curled up in a ball. Salty tears flood down her face. All her strength left her body in a single moment. She couldn't do it. She wasn't strong, brave, enough to go on. She would never get out of there. She would always be a lost girl who couldn't handle herself. A _mental_ person. Annie hated that word.

Annie heard the door open slowly. She lay there, still, not wanting to move. She assumed they were bringing her food, but she really wasn't in the mood to eat. She didn't feel like looking at another nurse. But the smell suddenly lures her out. Suddenly, Annie's hungry again. She slowly revealed herself from under the covers, putting her bare feet on the ground.

"Good morning Annie. Are you hungry?" The nurse asked. She smiled at Annie happily. It was the same nurse from yesterday. She wheeled in a cart with pancakes, eggs, and toast on it. It smelled amazing. It seemed to be taunting Annie.

Annie nodded her head eagerly, her mouth was beginning to water. The nurse handed her a plate. She sat on a chair near the door, watching Annie eat. Annie paid little attention to her. She was used to people staring at her. She knew what they were thinking. The didn't see her as the beautiful women she was, they saw her as a weakling, someone who always needed help.

When Annie finished she got up and put the plate back on the cart. She walked back to the bed, sitting back down, cross legged. She put her hands in her lap. She rubbed her thumbs together in circles. She thought about how Finnick would make nets late into the night. She could never do it as well as him even though he tried to teach her. Finnick had gifted hands.

"All done? Wow, you were hungry. Good." the nurse said, getting up from her chair. She smoothed her skirt down before walking towards Annie.

Annie covered her ears suddenly, curling up into a ball. She was unable to control it. The horrifying memory of her district partner played through her head. She saw his body hit the ground, the blood gushing out of the body. She heard the cannon again, blasting through the arena, announcing his death proudly. She closed her eyes so tightly that the tears could barely squeeze out. The nurse walked over to Annie, putting a hand on her shoulder. Annie started screaming like someone was hurting her. The nurse quickly jerked her hand back. She ran to her bag and took out a needle. She slowly and calmly walked over to Annie. She injected it into Annie's arm, cause a quick pinch in her arm.

Annie slowly started to slip out of consciousness. Her eyes slowly became heavy, and her body slowly started to relax. She became a little confused, unable to tell what was really going on. Who she really was. She started giggling, staring off into the distance. Her head bobbed up and down.

A figure with bronze hair walked through the door. He smiled at her, holding open his arms to hold her.

"Finnick..." Annie muttered. She got up. She started walking towards the door, stumbling constantly, "Why did you go?" Then she collapsed, and the world went dark.

* * *

"You sedated her?" The doctor asked, infuriated. He looked at the nurse, his light blue eyes giving her a cold stare. He held his clip board tightly.

"I had to," the nurse explained, "She was screaming and covering her ears. I couldn't think of a better way. And why do you care? We do it with all the other patients."

The doctor rubbed his temples, "She's pregnant." He muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

Annie woke up with a pounding head ache. She fluttered her eyes open, the light stun them. She quickly shut them again. Annie stayed like that for another minute or so before trying again. This time the light didn't hurt so much. She moved very slowly into a sitting position. She scanned the room, realizing it wasn't the usual one. She was in the actual hospital.

Annie was hooked up to an array of medical equipment. Each one was tracking something, like her heart beat and blood pressure. They made annoying beeping sounds that Annie hated. She wanted to go back to her old room. It was quiet there, it seemed safe there.

A doctor walked in holding a clip board. He had gray hair and gray eyes that matched. He seemed pretty old. He must have been working at the hospital for years. But he acted different around Annie than he did with other patients. He wasn't sure how she would react to the news. Either she would be thrilled, scared, or unsure. He was just hoping for the best.

"Hello Annie," the doctor smiled, he would have called her Mrs. Odair, but he was told not to because of her condition, "We have some exciting news for you."

Annie just stared at him. She blinked twice, wondering what was happening.

"Congratulations! Your going to have a baby!" the doctor beamed.

While Annie was out, the doctors worked extremely hard to keep the baby alive. The type of medicine the nurse gave Annie almost killed it. If she had gotten there any later, they would have lost it.

The doctor waited for Annie's reaction. Annie was working hard to figure out what it all meant. She didn't understand what was really going on. It was confusing for her. Things were much harder for her to understand then other people. She unscrambled the words like a puzzle, figuring out what each one meant. Then finally it hit her. She was pregnant. And she knew only one person could be the father...

Finnick.

Annie wrapped her arms around her stomach. Finnick had given her one last gift before disappearing. He had given her one last piece of him to love and cherish. Annie wasn't going to let anything happen to their baby, she promised herself that. She wasn't going to let them take the baby. She was going to get better and leave. And then maybe, if she tried really hard, things would go almost back to normal. Annie knew they could never be the same, but she knew she could start a new life as close to perfect as possible.

Annie closed her eyes peacefully. Maybe things would be okay, even if Finnick was_ physically _there with her. Like he said, he will be in her heart. Annie held onto that hope. The only pain she could feel was from the bit of tears that Finnick wouldn't ever get to know he was a father. Or even hold his baby. A single tear rolled down Annie's cheek. She had to keep reminding herself it was all going to be alright.

"I'll come back in an hour to check up on you. There is a button on the side of your bed. If you press it, a nurse will come." the doctor said. He smiled and left quietly without another word.

A breeze from the vent blow in. Annie shivered and pulled the blanket up to her shoulders, wrapping herself in it tightly. She laid down on the bed, putting one hand on her stomach.

"We're going to get through this together, okay?" she whispered in a soft, calming voice. She closed her eyes again and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

A knock came on the door. Annie was back in her old room. She had been back for three days.

Her new nurse came in smiling. Behind her, was a familiar boy. He had bright blue eyes and sandy blonde hair. She remembered him, but couldn't put a name to his face. She remembered him from in the cafeteria while Finnick was there and the boy had said he would take her away from Finnick. She remembered people had said he was "hijacked" and that was why he had said that.

"Hi Annie. Remember me? Peeta?" the boy asked, peaking around the nurse. He had a hopeful look on his face.

Annie sat up in her bed. She had the same blank look on her face as she had worn for the past few days.

"Annie, we brought Peeta here to visit you. Maybe you would like to talk to him?" the nurse asked, as if talking to a child. Annie hated that.

Peeta stepped forward. He kneeled by Annie's bed. His eyes were kind and concerned, not like before while he was "hijacked". Then he was cold, untrustworthy, like a snake. But now Annie felt like he was like a friend. Like he was safe.

Annie blinked to acknowledge Peeta. Peeta smiled, knowing she at least realized he was there.

"How are you Annie?" Peeta said kindly. Annie gave him the slightest nod to say fine. But really she wanted to explode into words, but she had lost the excitement and happiness. She was to weak. The darkness depression had once again crept up upon her. She was sick of it.

Annie gave him a weak smile, but her eyes looked sad. Peeta's smile strengthened as if it be given to her if he tried hard enough.

"Do you remember Katniss? They are going to let me go back to twelve to see her once they give me the all clear." Peeta explained to Annie. He spoke to her as if she was normal, not a mental person at all. Like she was an old friend, and maybe she was to him. But it felt good to her. She had been so lonely and sick of being labeled "mentally unstable" she was excited about it. She smiled, her eyes lightening up a bit more. She started laughing again. The nurses and doctors said it was one of her "ticks", weird littlie things she did that she couldn't control. Like covering her ears and going quiet.

A doctor walked in then.

"Come on Peeta. You have to go to your appointment." the doctor said, holding the door open.

"Bye Annie. It was nice to see you again. I'll come back before I go, okay?" Peeta said. He got up and walked to the door. He turned around and smiled one last time before leaving.

Annie was alone again with only her thoughts to comfort her.

* * *

**Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I just had to add Peeta somewhere. What should happen next? Give me some ideas please! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

The world was a drain, sucking away all the life Annie once had. Or what little life she once had. Pregnancy was taking its toll on her. She sat in front of the toilet, her elbows resting on the rim. Sweat beamed down her forehead, her body was shaking. Her hair was in a mat of a bun on her head, but it was the best the nurse could do for her. Annie's eyes were watery and her nose stun. The nurse stood behind Annie rubbing light circles on her back.

"It's okay. It will be worth it when it's over, right?" the nurse said smiling. She was trying so hard to comfort Annie as much as she could. The nurse felt bad for Annie. Usually she didn't think too much about her patients. But she was really perky to Annie. But Annie kind of needed perky now.

Annie slowly moved away from the toilet. She covered her ears, rolling in a ball, and cried. She was tiered, weak. She didn't know how much longer she could take it. It had been six weeks since she found out. She was twelve weeks along. She had been having these symptoms for what seemed like eternity. They were terrible. She always felt tiered and weak, not that she hadn't felt enough of that from depression. And not to mention she had to get up at the crack of dawn to vomit. It was hard to carry on. She just tried to keep herself going with the thought of the baby. Finnick's baby. Her baby.

She forced herself to stand. Knees weak, arms feeling like there were weights on them, she walked back to the bed, hiding her weakness as best as she could. The nurse trailed behind her. She had been Annie's shadow since she came. Annie plopped on the bed, closing her eyes. She laid down, resting her hand on her stomach.

_Let me sleep _she begged.

She breathed slowly through her mouth. Her nose was too stuffed to even get the smallest amount of air. Annie hadn't been feeling well for a while, but the doctors dismissed it as morning sickness or allergies. She felt terrible. She just wanted was to be released from this pain, so she tried to sleep as much as possible. The only this was nightmares constantly crept up on her during sleep.

Sleep came, but slowly and lightly. But it was pleasant.

* * *

_Finnick got off the train. He was scared. He looked at his hands, no marks and scars were left thanks to the Capital. He rolled his sleeve and looked at his shoulder with a deep scar that not even they could fix. It was the only physical scar he had left from the arena. It was from the final two when that boy stabbed him..._

_He shook his head to get rid of the memory. He was going home. He was ALIVE. Shouldn't that be means for celebration? Maybe on some grounds, but it did mean that he was the Capital's slave from here until the moment he died. Snow had told him that. He said that if Finnick made one wrong move, they'd kill his family, like they did to Haymitch. Finnick didn't want to end up as a drunk. _

_Finnick stepped out onto the stage, cameras flashed everywhere and the people below him cheered. Finnick searched them for his family or Annie. His escort pushed him forward into the center of the stage._

_"District 4, your latest victor!" She yelled excitedly. The crowd when crazy. Clapping and stomping their feet. It had been a while since four had a victor. Well, for district four it was a while._

_He gave a weak smile, even though inside he was screaming for help, for a way out of this. But then he saw her. Annie stood near the stage. She had came hours before so she could be there. Tears were filling her eyes, her Finnick had come home. Finnick__ wanted to jump off the stage right there and then and be with her, but he knew he couldn't. He knew one wrong move and they could- no, would- kill her. So he stood there, like a potted plant. His body was tense with anticipation._

_Just let this be over, he kept thinking. And soon it was. The escort led him off the stage, holding on tightly to his wrist as if he were a small child. She brought him to a black car with dark windows._

_"Get in." She instructed. Finnick did what he was told, but reluctantly. He wanted to run to Annie, hold her and know he was still really ALIVE. Until then he wouldn't feel like he was. He would be a ghost, even if everyone said he was alive._

_The car drove him off, away from the screaming crowd, away from Annie. He looked out the window, even if it was too dark to make out anything. He wondered where they would take him, what they were going to do to him._

_"Congratulations," the driver said happily, "Not many people your age are so lucky." He smiled, looking at Finnick through the rearview mirror._

_"Oh thanks." Finnick said, going back to reality a little. "Were are we going?" he asked after a minute._

_"Victor's Village. Didn't they tell you? It's part of the package, you get riches and a huge mansion," the driver went on,"But if you ask me, regular houses in this district are huge. But hey, what do I know? I'm just some poor guy from district six."_

_Finnick didn't want riches or a huge house. He wanted his beat up little shack near the ocean. Were he could smell the sea salt and hear the sea gulls sing there screechy songs. He wanted to see the reaves sway in the breeze and feel the sand under his feet. _

_But it was all over. He was sure the Capital would keep him as their doll in that house._

_"He's going to be handsome. Why not put it to use someday? Maybe a few more years..." Snow had said when he gave him his victor's crown. It scared Finnick. He didn't know what Snow meant, but he knew it wasn't good._

_The car pulled up it a huge white house. Lush gardens covered the outside in a colorful pattern. _

_"This is it kid." The driver said. Finnick thanked him, even though he wasn't that happy with the destination. He opened the doors and walked into the house._

* * *

**_Sorry I haven't written in FOREVER. I've just been busy and I didn't know what to write. What do you think should happen next? I need some ideas!_**


	5. Chapter 5

Everyday the little bump on her stomach would grow. Her baby was getting stronger, she could feel it move within her. The only thing was she wasn't very comfortable. Her feet were starting to get swollen, her back ached, and she was always craving something. But at least she had her little piece of her love left behind to look forward to after this. That was what kept her going. She started having less and less of her "crashes" as the nurses called them, when she would give up and look at everything negatively.

She walked down the long white hallway, her hands on her stomach. The baby kicked gently under her hand as the went. The nurse walked next to her, holding onto her arm and guiding her down the halls. The whole place was quiet, no screams or cries as Annie usually heard coming down the halls. It seemed peaceful, just how Annie liked it.

The nurse took her into a room, where a doctor was waiting.

"Hello Annie," the doctor said getting up to greet them, "I'm Dr. Kindle. Nice to meet you." The doctor smiled kindly. She had greyish eyes, curly brown hair that was pulled back into a bun, and wore a while lab coat over a black turtle neck and jeans. She took Annie's hand and took her to the examining table. It was soft and comfortable enough.

"Today we can tell you if your baby is a boy or girl. But if you want it to be a surprise, I won't tell." The doctor said. Annie liked her. Not many people gave her options. They would just tell her what to do, but Dr. Kindle was allowing her to decide if she did or didn't want to know.

"I want it to be a surprise." She said meekly. She smiled slight. She had just started talking a few weeks ago, but was still having a bit of trouble getting herself to do it.

"Good choice." Dr. Kindle smiled.

She asked Annie to roll up her shirt, assuring her it was okay, and squirted a cold jell onto her stomach. Annie gasped slightly. The doctor moved a stick over her stomach and a foggy image of her baby came on screen. **(I'm not sure if that is how it works and I don't want to find out.) **Annie smiled. It seemed so real now.

* * *

_"Annie." Finnick said. It sounded like it wasn't the first time he called her name. Annie looked over at him and shook her head._

_"Why Finn?" She asked. Her friends had told her why Finnick leaves so often to go to the Capital, and why woman are always at his doorstep. He had told her it was simply because the Capital made him out to be this amazing, sexy victor. She believed him, until yesterday when she saw the woman at the door with the baby she was insisting was his while Annie was at his house. _

_"Annie, they make me. It's the only way I can keep you safe. They would kill you if I didn't do it," Finnick said with tears in his eyes, "And the kid wasn't mine. I had never seen that woman before in my life and they did a DNA test."_

_Annie shook her head, "It doesn't matter about that one time! It's happened before and I'm sure it'll happen again. Don't think I don't hear the rumors."_

_"You don't get it, do you! I do this to protect you!" He cried. He got up from next to her and throw a rock far out into the water. As it splashed, he dropped onto his knees and stared out into the water, "I can't lose you, Annie."_

_"Finn..." Annie said quietly. She walked over to him and sat down in the sand. She could see the tears streaming down his face._

_"I can't let them hurt you...They killed my brother and parents. You're all I have left." Finnick whispered. He pulled her close to him, hugging her tightly. He cried into her shoulder. Annie hugged him back, trying to calm him. She hated to see him cry. He was the strong one._

_They stayed there in each other's embrace until the sun was fully set. Annie had fallen asleep in his arms after crying with him. Finnick held her, looking at her features. She looked so beautiful when she slept. _

_"I won't let them hurt you." He whispered before picking her up bridle style and carrying her home._

* * *

**Hope you guys liked the chapter! I've been having a hard time coming up with new ideas so I'm sorry I haven't been updating often. I was thinking about have Johanna come. What do think? Please review!**


End file.
